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Starting Over.

    Have you ever wanted to delete almost everyone off of your friends list?

    Just get rid of them and start over? Make new friends, find new people?

    I do, sometimes. Sometimes I want to delete most of the people on my Facebook.

    I don't really know what it is. I'm not one of "them" anymore. They have their big group of people I used to be really good friends with, and then they've mashed it together with a bunch of new people I've never met, but they're all suddenly great friends with, too.

    And then, I wasn't invited anywhere. Hell, yesterday was my good friends birthday (he's actually the only one who's directly invited me to an event in the past few months), and I was only in 2 pictures. One is the back of my head. The other is of me, standing alone smiling at the camera, that my friend took.

    Yay, memories!

    They all go do things almost everyday together, take a billion pictures and brag about it online that they got to see everyone and hang out and all these new inside jokes and everything.

    I wasn't mentioned once in any of the status's for my friends birthday.

    I guess you could say I'm jealous, and I am. However, I'm not jealous of my friends specifically. I'm envious that they all have each other, a big group of friends to have fun with.

    I don't have that anymore. Why, you may ask?

    Well, from what I can put together, it's because they're prudes and flip out that my wonderful boyfriend smokes and likes to drink on occasion.

    We've been over this in a previous post.

    Other than that, I can't think of anything else for it. Ever since I started inviting him along, they've pushed me out little by little. Maybe they just think I'm busy with him, but does that mean they should just stop asking all together and just assume I'm not available?

    Meh. I hate talking about it. It makes me feel pathetic. I am pathetic. I can't keep friends. I keep losing them. I guess there's the college excuse. It's not like I just stopped talking to them or anything, I always talk to them online since that's the only time I ever can talk to them.

    Since they're always out doing shit together.

    I'm getting frustrated with it. I need college friends. I hate to say it, but these current ones still act like they're sixteen and are in that phase where it was cool to not drink or smoke, and to be wild and crazy and do stupid shit and not give a fuck.

    But in reality, no one gives a fuck.

    Maybe it's a completely different reason that I don't know. Whatever it is, fuck it.

    Anyway, back to the original point. Today, I saw all the new status's about my friends birthday party, and all the pictures they've uploaded and whatnot, and I thought, what would happen if I just deleted them all?

    Well for one, I'd have no friends. Period. But it's sort of tempting.

    I don't know. Can someone give me the answer, please? Thinking hurts after so long.

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